John: I thought we we’re ‘gonna’ die John: Max, what’s happened so far? Max: Disaster has struck! *Intro Music* You’re watching the 234laptop channel, And you’ve made a good decision Because it’s a Bloody Good Channel After the success of our last trip to Alton Towers, We thought it would be a good idea to go back, Which we did Louise was ‘otherwise engaged’, So it was just John, Stef and I We once again climbed aboard the VW Up! and set our sights for paradise Also known as Staffordshire When I picked the ‘lads’ “LADS, LADS, LADS!” up from their respective houses, I didn’t anticipate them to be so hungry, so we halted progress, pulled into the Leicester Forest East services, and decided to consume a delicacy from a man known only as ‘The Burger King’ Max: Right, so, we are here Right, let’s see the product in there We’ve got the bacon thing Jesus, look at that what a sad sight. John has returned! In the car park, we tempted fate *Night To Remember – Shalamar* After forcefully swallowing the flip flop from The Burger King and tempting our fate for the evening, I entertained the ‘lads’ by introducing them to the ‘free poppadom’ lyric. “Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? – Moby” We pulled into Alton Towers, where I turned Stef’s dreadful ‘music’ off *crying* I got rather agitated with John’s arrogance John: It’s not that busy, is it? Max: You really think it’s not that busy when there’s a whole fucking car park full, look at that! John: That guy wants to kill himself, look at him *dramatic music* *horn beeps* Max: Stop that! And after John activates the warning horn on my vehicle, this parking attendant spots the fake Go-Pro in the window. Stoke accent: ‘Hallow’ Stef: Oh no.. Max: Oh look, the actors are out So, you might have noticed someone is absent, from the last video, Louise isn’t here with us today Stef: Our thoughts are with you Louise Max: Poor girl, she’s stuck at the secondary school Stef: The disgusting and awful *censored* which has recently been taken over by *censored* Max: Well, I can’t put that in! It was at this point, John and Stef spotted a God amongst men, the one and only Sean Sanbrooke, known commonly, as ‘Theme Park Worldwide’ Max: It’s going to look so awkward, *high pitched voice* “Excuse me, can I get a picture?!” They asked me to take their picture with him, which is all good and well. Unfortunately, I failed to get a picture with him ..or had I? Okay, so while I didn’t get a picture with him, I’m going to Photoshop myself into that picture so I can put it in the thumbnail and get more views alright? Cheers. Max: Mother of God, that was, an experience wasn’t it? WOAH! Stef: Very scary! Max: Very good! I turned around, there was a man with a beard, and I was shouting at him. John: He’s not an actor Max: He said “I’m not an actor!” Stef: I turned around, I was like “ARGHHH!” He was like “what?” I was like, “I thought you were an actor!” Max: So, very good, five stars for that one So, you didn’t like that one then? Well, you didn’t think it was as good as the other one? Stef: Weren’t as good as the other one You two were probably alright ’cause you didn’t have a hat Max: Did the hat make it worse then? Stef: Yeah, because it was like strobe lighting John: I’d rather not have a hat Stef: When you have a hat, you get.. it was me and two other people, and they pushed me forward, ‘you’re going first, you’ve got a light’ John: That’s what we done with that guy isn’t it? Stef: It was horrible I was just getting targeted, Max: We were in that corner, and I tried to push you forward, and the woman jumped out from underneath John: She was like grabbing my hair, wasn’t she? Max: Yeah, I just made a run for it John: I ‘kinda wanna get’ a ‘soda’ Max: A ‘soda’? What are you? Soda!! Twat. So, we’ve done all the scaremazes, apparently. And that was whatever that was called Very well decorated, but not very scary but then again, it is for children. What are you expecting? So now, what’s the POA (plan of action)? John: I wanna get some food Max: We’re going to this restaurant where the thing.. goes down.. okay. Voiceover: We’d completed the scare mazes, and those two were starving hungry standard practice So, it was time to head into the overly complex and impressive ‘Rollercoaster Restaurant’ Are you excited? Stef: I am! If we get in John: Well, we are going to get in Max: Okay, thank you guys.