This hot sauce is so hot. Do you like really hot things? I do, but that is unbelievably hot. Okay, I’m gonna try this. -Do you like hot sauce?
-Oh, I hate it. But you know, you gotta try
new things in life. -No you don’t.
-Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know if you had this
when you were young, but we’d always go, you know, “We’ll do heroin… when we’re 80!” -The idea being that once you hit 80…
-Yeah. -You know, what do you got to lose?
-Right. Might as well do heroin.
But now that I grow older, I realize, it’s not like you become fearless
when you become older. It’s the opposite. You know, I remember my grandmother,
I walked into the room once and she had a bruise
that went from her wrist all the way up to her shoulder. -Big, purple, yellow-ish bruise.
-Wow! And I said, “My God, Grandma.
Where did you get that?” “The wind.” So, she’s not doing heroin. When I first started
I used to do a joke about, when I was a kid my parents
were always telling me how milk was a nickel,
a car was a quarter, and I thought, how could the world
change that much again? Will I be saying to my kids, you know, when I was a boy,
no dogs could vote. They were just pets. I remember that joke. -You do?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -No dogs could vote. That’s awesome.
-Wow. You don’t have a child. -Pardon me?
-You don’t have a child. -So, you don’t have to worry about…
-I don’t? I have three. You have three daughters? I have a daughter and two sons. What? I guess we can agree to disagree,
but I thought you had no children. -Well, that’s what you thought, then.
-Whoa! Son of a gun, that’s hotter
than a two-dollar pistol. Man alive. How do you feel about John Hinckley
walking the streets of DC? And yet attempted murder and murder -are the same thing. Yeah.
-Same thing. Well, it’s a different skill level. What about manslaughter? Less than murder, but sounds way worse. The other one is if you kill
more than one person, that’s called “special circumstances.” Which sounds to me
like a custom-made jacket. Now, you can buy one off the rack, but we also have these
special circumstances. -A bespoke jacket.
-Yeah. It just sounds like a very elegant term
for murdering lots of people. Well, let’s just call it…
special circumstances. One of the most hellish things
was that Richard Speck, you know… -Yeah.
-…busted in and killed, and raped– killed all the nurses. But I remember he was charged with, whatever, nine counts of rape,
nine counts of murder, and one count of breaking and entering. Not only did you enter,
you broke something. -Yeah, I never thought of that.
-Yeah. That doorknob is broken. -Who’s going to pay for that?