Indoor, Outdoor & Kids' Trampolines

I Jumped Off The Golden Gate Bridge


– [Voiceover] We have
lost far too many lives traveling the path to this day. – Since 1937, over 2,000 people have died at the Golden Gate Bridge. I feel lucky to be alive every single day. (ambient orchestral music) Of the thousands that have died
off the Golden Gate Bridge, I am of the 1% who have survived. So I was born on drugs and premature and then I bounced
around from home to home. Nobody wanted to keep
me because I was sick. And I got lucky. I landed in the home of
Patrick and Debra Hines. I had a great childhood. I thought growing up that
everything’s gonna be great. And then at 17, it all came crashing down. If you can imagine feeling
that everyone around you is out to get you, trying to hurt you, and trying to kill you. And you believe that to be the truth. From the extreme paranoia, I
exhibited symptoms of mania. From the mania came the hallucinations, both auditory and visual. And so with that and the bipolar disorder, I just was spiraling out of control. I vividly remember
writing my suicide note. People don’t get it, like
I thought I was a burden to everyone who loved me,
because that’s what my brain told me, because that’s
how powerful your brain is. I got off the bus. I walked slowly down the walkway
of the Golden Gate Bridge. People rode by me, drove
by me, walked by me. And a woman approached me and she said, “Will you take my picture?” She said “thanks” and she walked away. It was that moment I just
said, “Nobody cares.” The reality was that everybody cared. I just couldn’t see it. I ran forward and using my two hands I catapulted myself into freefall. What I’m about to say
is the exact same thing that 19 Golden Gate Bridge
jump survivors have also said. The millisecond my hands left the rail, it was an instant regret. And I remember thinking,
“No one’s gonna know “that I didn’t wanna die.” In four seconds I fell 75
miles an hour, 25 stories. And I hit the water. I was in the most physical
pain I had ever experienced, I have ever experienced. The Coast Guard was amazing. He was just so freaked
out that I was alive that he just dove in
and brought me on board. Guy said, “Do you know how many people “we pull out of this water
that are already dead?” And I said, “No, and I don’t wanna know.” The guy put his hand on my forehead, said, “Kid, you’re a miracle.” My father took one step
into the hospital room and I looked up at him and I said, “Dad, I’m sorry.” And he said, “No, Kevin, I’m sorry.” And if you think about it,
both of our immediate reactions were guilt, guilt that didn’t
belong to either of us. And even though I didn’t
die, I caused people a great deal of grief and pain. Just the day of my attempt still sits within them today. I asked my father if he still
feared my death by suicide. He said every time the phone goes off his first inclination, is Kevin alive? I had that impact on my dad. So after the jump, the road
to recovery was pretty long. I had seven psych ward
stays in the next 11 years. I still have all the symptoms I ever had: mania, depression,
psychosis, hallucinations, all that’s still there. I just know how to cope with it and I know how to beat it. I built a support network over these years of treatment so that I wouldn’t
be fighting this alone. So, like, it’s okay not to be okay. It’s not okay not to ask
for someone to back you up. To the families who live
with the loss or losses of loved ones, they
didn’t do that to hurt you or destroy your life. They took their lives
because they were struggling and in a great deal of
emotional, mental pain. Suicide, mental illness, and
addiction are the only diseases that we blame the person for perpetually. But people die from
suicide just like they die from any other organ diseased. Today, no matter the pain I’m
in, no matter the struggles I experience, I do believe
that life is the greatest gift we’ve ever been given. And if you’re suffering mentally, don’t wait like I did,
sitting in denial for so long. Because recovery happens. I’m living proof. (slow-paced violin music)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *