Indoor, Outdoor & Kids' Trampolines

Brewstew – Drivers Ed

Alright, now when you’re a teenager,
one of the most important things in life is learning how to drive. And what better way
to learn how to drive than a good old-fashioned
driver’s education course. And driver’s ed is pretty bawdy,
there’s no two ways about it. And what made it even worse, is that the instructor
insisted on teaching the class like we were a bunch
of goddamn preschoolers. “And here we have the car’s wheels, can anybody tell me
what shape the car’s wheels are?” “Yeah, a fucking… circle?” “That’s right!” “And here is where the car’s horn is!” “And the car horn goes ‘Meep-meep!'” I’m over there taking notes and shit. Writing everything down
like some kind of idiot. Meanwhile you got dumbasses in my class,
raising their hands, asking questions. “Yeah, you said
the car horn goes ‘Meep-meep’, but could it go ‘Honk-honk!’ instead?” “Why yes, it sure can!” “Everybody write that down,
it will be on the test!” So after two weeks of playing Patty Cake
and learning the sound that car makes, we finally get to take our written exam. And this exam was easy as hell. I mean, it was practically
impossible to fail the damn thing. There would be questions on there, like, “When a pedestrian is crossing
the street at a cross walk, do you: A. Yield to the pedestrian. or B. Commit vehicular homicide.” “Ah yeah, is the pedestrian
wielding a weapon of some sort? Like a katana or a boomerang?” So needless to say,
the written exam was pretty pointless. I mean, your ass could be like a,
fucking Amish kindergartner from a different fucking planet and you’d still have a good chance
to pass the damn thing. So after that it’s time
to do your drive times. And your drive times are when
you get into a random stranger’s car And you drive around the city while they make sure
you don’t murder anybody. Now, my first instructor was
this old guy, who was… somewhere between
the ages of 80 and 1000 years old. And he had the tendency
to fall asleep every now and then. I’d be driving down the road, look over and see
this old guy all knocked-out with his mouth wide open and shit. “Holy hell, did this guy just die
of natural causes in the passenger seat?” “Don’t you die on me, damn it!” (Snorts)
“Whoa! What happened?!” My second instructor was this lady that would have me
drive her all over the town so she could get her errands done. Like I was her own
goddamn personal chauffeur. We would go to the bank, we would go to the laundromat, hell, we’d even pick her kid up
from school at some point! Now, why she would have
her kid in the backseat while some dumbass
17-year-old runs over curbs, I have no idea. But she was so comfortable with me,
she would go into a store, and just leave me and the kid
in the car by ourselves. The kid would just be staring at me
in the backseat and shit. “Uh… hey there, champ!” “You don’t have to worry about me,
I’m not like a kidnapper or anything.” “Are you my dad?” “No, the fuck I’m not!” “I’m not a kidnapper and I
sure as hell ain’t your dad either.” So after 8 hours of driving with a civil war veteran and babysitting some lady’s kid, I was finally able to take my
road test for my driver’s license. Now, I was a little nervous
taking this test for two reasons. For one, I’m using
my friend’s shitty-ass Kia Rio, a car that looks like
it was made out of garbage. And for two, I’m gonna have
a police officer riding shotgun, breathing down my neck,
making sure I don’t do anything wrong. “You better not screw anything up!” “If you fucking fart too loud,
I’m gonna fail you on this test, and I’m gonna tase you in the face.” So the test starts off
and I’m doing pretty well, I’m obeying all the traffic laws, I’m 10 and 2-ing it
on the steering wheel, like a good boy. But things start to take a turn for
the worse when I go down the side street and there’s some idiot on a bike
in the middle of the goddamn road. Just taking his sweet-ass time. “Sure is a nice day out today!” “A perfect day to fuck up some kid’s
driving test, that’s for sure!” So since my driver’s
ed teacher was an idiot and just taught us
the sounds that car makes, I didn’t really know
what to do in this situation. So I start to panic and honk the horn. And I swear to God,
the fucking horn on this Kia Rio was like, *MEEP-MEEP!* “See? I told you
the car horn goes ‘Meep-meep!'” This dude looks behind him, thinking there’s gonna be
a goddamn RC car behind him. But he sees me right in his ass instead. So what does this guy
on a bike decide to do? Well, he flips me the bird of course. “Ah, what a cheeky little bastard!” So now at this point I’m thinking,
“Well, that’s it, I failed the test.” You can have somebody flip you
the bird during your driving test and expect to pass it. I look over at the police officer thinking he’s about to dropkick
me out of the driver seat any minute. But surprisingly, he starts laughing. “Ha-ha! Well, that guy is an asshole.” “It’s something you’re gonna have
to get used to driving on the road.” “People flip you the bird all the time.” So in the end this dumbass
on the bike didn’t sabotage me, and I was able to pass my test. I got my license that day, and I rode off into the sunset
with that shitty-ass Kia Rio. *MEEP-MEEP!* Special Thanks To:
Ed Hager, Tristan Schryer. Special Thanks To: These and many more
great patrons!

Reader Comments

  1. Did I just watch this video? Now that I think of it… Not bad. I was Zack Morris on my driving test and waited till 18 to avoid the $300 fee.

  2. Hello!聽 Sorry to bother you.
    My name is Roman, I am 24 years old, I am from Russia.聽 I want to open my business in the field of passenger transportation.聽 Unfortunately, banks do not provide me with the opportunity to get a loan and there is no place to wait for more help, I ask you to finance at least a small part of the finances.聽 For you, this is a trifle, but for me, a huge step in achieving my goal.
    In order to buy a passenger bus with a capacity of 45-50 people, $ 5000 is required.聽 The approximate return on investment is about two years.

    My requisites:
    Beneficiary account: 40817810730005370563 recipient Roman Sergeevich B.

    Thank you for your time and help.聽 With respect, Roman!

  3. 馃敟馃敟馃敟馃敟
    0:44 馃枻
    馃憞 馃憞 馃憞 馃憞 馃憞馃挆

  4. You should see the Drivers Ed test today. It鈥檚 the hardest thing you鈥檒l ever take. My parents didn鈥檛 even know the answer to these questions. I鈥檝e been driving for 2 years now and don鈥檛 remember half the test questions.

  5. Love ur videos dude legit the first one I watched I died 馃槀馃槀 I just wanted to say ur vids are good remember to always eat ur corn dogs

  6. Columbus Ohio here.
    Ohio has a reputation for the worst driver's in America. Maybe because the driver's ed teacher's suck ass. Or us Ohioans just suck ass. Either way we all suck ass.
    The End.

  7. Lol my road test was pretty similar but it was a J-Walker instead of a guy on a bike. I got half way into what I was saying, "What the fu…." , and remember who's sitting next to me. Remember it like it was yesterday lol

  8. Yep, this seems like Texas.

    Day one of drivers ed take test day 2 properly learn what to do in certain situations by watching videos as the teacher smoked cartons of cigarettes on break.

    On the driving test day, had to drive a state trooper who told me you fuck this up I'm writing you a ticket for each infraction. Test starts now.

  9. So it's ok for a stranger to flip you the bird as a 17 year old with a cop riding shotgun next to you just laughs it off. But if I were to flip the bird on a police officer I bet it would be a lot worse.

  10. I have been driving since the age of 15 (now I'm 17), and where I live (Greece) you're not allowed to take a driver's test till 18. The most exciting thing that has happened so far after 2500 or so kms is me going at 170km/h for a bit, and going on rally mountain roads to have fun. But I do feel you, sometimes city driving can suck major butt due to the fact that people tend to be less than smart most of the time. I can't wait to get my license, for, as it happens, I love driving!

    Love these videos, keep them coming! 馃檪

  11. I take drivers training next week and damn is the teacher already freaking out like god damn she thinks I鈥檓 gonna blow up the car or something

  12. I understand the use of hyperbole to make something funnier, but that example question from the written test was literally the kind of question on the actual test. And they give you three tries. I think they should issue special license plates to anyone who takes more than one try so other drivers know to steer clear of the dumb fuck.

  13. Swear I thought the police officer was gonna fucking drop his ass down to the floor, but since I'm a retard and have too much imagination then fuck it, it ain't gonna happen

  14. You civilized states think he's exaggerating, but he's not. I fell asleep during my driving portion and my driver lady didn't notice. Ohio is a geographic oddity

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *